Today marks the day I first saw a cat (or kitten) that got run over by a vehicle with my own eyes. Sometimes, I would see dead cats on the road but did not see it happening.

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Today, I saw a small kitten on the road trying to cross the street. I braked my car, and usually adult cats would have ran across the street immediately, but this kitten was confused and stayed in place. I stopped my car for a few seconds, because the kitten would not move-- got honked from cars/motorcycles behind me but who cares-- the kitten was probably shocked and scared.


A couple of seconds later, as it was running across the street in panic, BAM! A motorcycle ran over it. The motorcycle driver was with his female friend, and his female friend looked like she was saying something like "omg why did you run over the kitten?!?" Or "omg the kitten omg omg", and her hands was on the sides of her face, jittery and looking panicked. She did not look back at the kitten but even from the back her gestures were obvious that she was not okay with what her friend did. The motorcycle rider and his friend continued their journey to wherever it may be, and when I looked at my rear view mirror, the kitten was writhing in pain. It was still alive then...

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Because there are still many cars/motorcycles waiting in line behind me, and I also got homework to do, I did not stop my car, I also continued my journey to my home.

This event got me contemplating when I was waiting for the red light. And then I thought of many things, such as how the kitten might be living miserably because it was separated from its parents, and then life was taken away from it in just a flash, and what would have happened if I had stopped for a while to save the kitten.


I imagined myself in the kitten's position. To be honest, I really can't imagine the pain of living without a mother; even thinking about it makes me cry, because it makes me think of the future when I get older, and so will my parents... *sob*

The kitten was confused and got lost in the middle of the road. It was actually in a really dangerous part of the road. I don't know how the kitten got there, but it was in the middle of a wide road and it was far from the pedestrian walkway. And unfortunately, in that road where the kitten was in, there's always a lot of cars and motorcycles passing by.

---Buat orang Jakarta, lokasi tempat gue melihat kejadian ini adalah sebelum flyover Antasari, saat jalannya dibagi 2 menjadi 1 ke kiri ke arah Prapanca, 2 lurus masuk flyover Antasari. Gue dari arah jalan Sisingamangaraja, yang dari sekretariat Asean belok kiri, terus belok kanan masuk jalur yang di tengah, lalu di lampu merah yang lurus ke Jalan Truno Joyo, gue belok kanan. Si kucing muncul di jalan yang dari underpass mau ke arah Prapanca.

My mind continued to wander... how the kitten must have felt; alone and lost, without its mother, and then having your body crushed by a vehicle. That must have been extreme pain.

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However... I had prioritized my homework, which is also my final project, due today before midnight, over the writhing kitten in the middle of the road. If I had stopped for a while to save the kitten, I would have gone to a veterinarian, paid the costs for the kitten, the kitten would be safe for now.

But then, going to the vet may take time, and then I might not have enough time to finish my essay, and most likely it will cause me to fail the subject, which will make my GPA drop ungracefully, and lose 3 million rupiahs (the cost for the credits of the subject) over a kitten. How will I explain to my lecturer about giving me time extension over saving a kitten...? While it is also possible that going to the vet may not take very much time, there's still the risk.

Thinking over this in a rational manner, what I did was certainly directly beneficial to me. I did not want to risk failing the subject just because of a kitten. It was directly beneficial because I will not spend extra money on veterinarian, I will not spend extra time saving the kitten, it's definite and obvious.

If I had saved the kitten, I would be proud of myself, and call it one of my personal accomplishments for having saved a stray kitten when it got run over by a motorcycle. It will not benefit me materialistically, but it will benefit me spiritually. I can safely say, that the feeling of being able to help someone (or something) and make a difference, is one of the best feelings in the world.

Almost everything harder in life does not benefit you straight away and materialistically, but gives you that personal spiritual enlightenment, which is good. Which was easier, saving the cat or just drive away pretending it never happened?

._.)

Honestly saying, I actually did have the want, the intention to save the kitten, but I decided it was not my first priority. I am a bit disappointed in myself for not saving the kitten when I had the chance to, and I do kind of regret I did not save the cat, but my will for playing it safe was greater.

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Dear kitten, I apologize for not saving you, but I sincerely hope someone out there will save you, and if unfortunately, you eventually died of your wounds, I hope you rest in peace.

And I hope, the next time I see something like this on the road, I am not in a rush.

(No pictures, I'm sorry. I was driving and I wouldn't stop my car just to take a picture of it lol)